BUILDING AND MAINTAINING LONG LASTING FRIENDSHIPS AS AN INTROVERT

By Akande Aanuoluwapo

As college students the importance of building friendships until we graduate and realize that we have less time to do it. It’s therefore important that we are intentional about building valuable friendly relationships. No one can live life alone, so how can we build and maintain long-lasting friendships while ensuring that we don’t lose friends that we value and trust?

Building long-lasting friendships can be difficult especially if your friend is not near you most of the time. It might make it a bit difficult but it’s possible if you put in a little bit of intentionality and effort. Here are some of the ways you can be intentional about maintaining your friendship with someone.

• Constantly check up on your friends: Checking up on a friend doesn’t have to involve doing something big or grandiose. Everyone is trying to build a life for themselves but a simple text saying “How are you doing” doesn’t take a minute to send. Even if your friend has no problems to tell you about, they would feel loved, respected and remembered. It only shows how much you care about the friendship.

• Be Vulnerable: A good friendship is built on trust and one of the ways to build trust is by being vulnerable. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Although introverts may have a hard time expressing their feelings to other people, it’s always a good idea to try. However, if you struggle with being vulnerable in a conversation, according to an article on the website “ourmindfullife.com”, you can effectively ask for help by using starters like “Do you think I should …. or “I’m not sure if I should….” Being vulnerable with a friend is not a show of weakness, it shows that you trust your friend to help you with whatever it is you need help with.

• Communication: communication is and will always be important in any kind of relationship. However, communication should not be limited to only small talk. Have deep conversations. Ask them things like; what are your goals? How do you plan on fulfilling them? These types of conversations create intimacy and build trust. Communication also allows friends to be aware of their similarities and differences. If you an introvert, your extrovert friend will know that you turn down invitations to parties because they drain psychologically you not because you don’t want to support your friend. Time must be made for quality conversations even if it’s not face-to-face. Communication prevents unnecessary disagreements and builds a meaningful friendship while also maintaining it.

• Spend time together: Although it may be hard to make time to spend with your friends especially if you live in different towns. However, if you get the chance to be in the same town, then spend quality time together. This will reinforce your friendship. If you’re an introvert and you miss your friend but you also want to be alone, the two of you can agree to spend time alone together. This will mean you reading a book or doing anything you want while your friend also does their own thing but you are in the same place together. This way, you’re killing two birds with one stone.

• Be grateful: One of the ways to build a long-lasting relationship is to concentrate more on the good things that your friend has done for you. Showing appreciation includes doing small gestures like sending a random lovely message or getting them their best food or snacks even though it’s not their birthday. These acts are a way of showing them that you value them and you’re grateful they’re in your life. No one would not like to be appreciated so being grateful would go a long way to strengthen your bond.

Although, other points can be useful in building a long-lasting friendship, however, the bottom line is you want to make sure that your friends know that you value them and you don’t want to lose them. If you keep this in mind, you’re on your way to building a long-lasting friendship.