Expectation creates your perception of reality

OPINION : By Beatrice Mokwunye

@Healinglabsf

Experts, over decades, have shown an obvious truth: Expectation creates your reality. This is like a ripple. You will always see the things you expect to see. Your expectations determine what part of the world you perceive and how you perceive it. If I expect you to fail, all I see are your mistakes and imperfections. Does this ring a bell?

From the story I was told as a teen: Ibadan is an ancient ‘brown roof' city. That imagery clicked. So, coming into the University of Ibadan, I expected nothing but ancient structures, brown roofs, old men and women; I even thought that no single educated classy young person can stay there, except students. My expectation was so low that I imagined seeing only old vehicles and a pure village claiming to be a city, omg!

First eight months as a student in IB, I was frustrated. One would ask why? Every time I step off-campus, all I see is old, mundane, boring places. Instead of Benz and Lexus, all I see is Micra and Beere-Oje bus where passengers squeeze themselves like the tiny fishes in a sardine. Agbowo made all matter worse and the height of it; when I fell ill. The private hospital I went to at Agbowo, I nearly wept—the hospital structure, the nurses and doctor; oh no! But where am I driving to: Expectation creates your perception of reality.

“When you change the way you look at things,” Wayne Dyer once said: “The thing you look at changes.” My irritation towards the ancient city grew stronger until I decided to change my viewpoint. I went beyond Agbowo and Bodija market to places like Bashorun Estate, to Jericho, Awolowo, and ‘mehn’ my perception about this city changed. I began to fall in love, for I can now see the beauty I’ve been searching for. But the big question is: “did the whole Ibadan change all of a sudden?” NO! What changed? My gaze. The viewpoint and of course, my expectation.

The same happens in human relationships and personal life events. When you see people or situations that are ‘stressful,’ ‘horrifying’ and dangerous, you will always see the stress, horror, and danger in them. That's why when you love someone, the only thing you see is their beautiful side; same when you hate someone, all you see is their irritating side, right?

Have you been experiencing difficulty in certain areas of your life, academics, business, or love life? Could it be you’ve focused so much on the side that bugs? Maybe you need to change the way you look at that situation. Like I did with Ibadan, you could turn the table around and explore the other side of that situation. To accomplish this, regularly ask yourself: “What lessons are here for me? What opportunity is here for me? Remember, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. And when you change your expectations, the reality changes for the better good.