Low Self-esteem— Don't Drive Through Life With Your Hand-brake On

"Should the whole world go against me, it will never reduce how much I value myself”.

By Adeusi Victoria Bisola

Often your thoughts about yourself shape your actions. Whether you have healthy self-esteem or low self-esteem, is determined by how you view yourself. Who do you think you are? The answer to this is what determines your esteem (inferior, healthy, superior).

What is Low Self-esteem (LSE)?

Low Self-esteem is when a person holds themselves in low regard, causing them to have confidence issues, and problems speaking up for themselves and interacting in social situations. People with low self-esteem tend to feel negative about themselves and life in general. A person with low self-esteem will most likely be a pessimist. It makes you feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at you. Dwelling negative thoughts will always make one more susceptible to low self-esteem.

It is quite common for people to experience moments where they doubt their self-esteem. It is normal to experience rough patches that may have us questioning our self-confidence. But when you fixate on questioning your self-confidence, not pulling yourself together to try and move on and feel better then you put yourself at risk of developing LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

Low self-esteem can pose a threat to a person’s mental health and should be taken very seriously. It doesn’t just happen overnight and it is not an inherited trait, it is something that is triggered by certain things like:

📌 Childhood experience. Teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even social media could have a hand in the low self esteem of a child.

📌 Experiences such as punishment, abuse, or neglect. This can also cause us to have and fixate on negative thoughts.

📌 Insufficient warmth, affection, praise, love, or encouragement from people we hold in high regard.

There are a lot of people that have low self-esteem but yet they are unaware of it and think it to be their personality trait. Difficulty in speaking up and prioritizing your own needs, wants, and feelings, unnecessary apologies (apologizing for any and everything), avoiding challenges, refusing to step out of your comfort zone, and being a people pleaser, are often signs that a person has low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem also has negative effects:

• You may start avoiding social interactions.

• Lack of interest to try new things because of extreme fear of failure and self-doubt.

• You may lose yourself. Inability to have an independent identity or personality.

• It can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety

Here are tips on how to get over having low self-esteem:

• Recognize what you are good at; to boost your mood and give you positive thoughts.

• Build positive relationships; spend less time with people that pull you down and surround yourself with positive people.

• Learn to be assertive; express your mind and thoughts, your needs and feelings without hurting others.

• Take note of positive things about yourself.

• Identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge yourself. Prove to those negative thoughts that you are more than capable.

• Know yourself, and have a positive view about who you are.

• Don't apologize for who you are.

Mistakes don’t make you a failure. Instead, it means you are growing, especially when you are willing to correct them. Healthy self-esteem is not proving a point to anyone, it is you living a positive life.

Low self-esteem is not humility, and neither is its gentleness.